On conversing with others.

Three gates of speech

Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates:

"At the first gate, ask yourself, is it true.
At the second gate ask, is it necessary.
At the third gate ask, is it kind."

Wisdom on speaking with others.

Three rules of consideration

• Everyone is good at something.
• Everyone is enthusiastic about something.
• Focus on the things someone is doing well.

Guidelines for conversations

• Make recuring eye contact.
• Ask more questions than you answer.
• Be brief and try not to repeat yourself.
• Speak clearly and appropriate the volume to your surrounding.
• Let others finish their sentences.

How to apologize

Quickly, specifically, sincerely.

Conflicts

Instead of accusations, try to express your emotions as needs and in a non-violent language.

Rule of Three

To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and once more. The third time’s answer is close to the truth.

Is there more?

While listening to a person you love, keep asking "Is there more?" until there is no more.

Links

• 68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice

incoming(1) | beliefs